#Oneliners
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Tuesday September 1, 2015 - 07:23
@mattpoveytwitter.com good luck. Where is it?
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Tuesday September 1, 2015 - 18:29
In reply to: @wildoniontwitter.com @wildoniontwitter.com I found bittorrent to be very helpful in this regard ;)
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Tuesday September 1, 2015 - 18:32
In reply to: @primevideouktwitter.com @AmazonVideoUK can you send me a link to where I can download the app for my android device?
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Tuesday September 1, 2015 - 18:54
@greaterangliatwitter.com perhaps it might be more efficient to announce when the 1807 LST-ELY isn’t stuck behind a stopping service…
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Tuesday September 1, 2015 - 19:02
All British public spaces should just have a soulless announcement on a loop. “We’re sorry” No specifics required. Nothing changes. Sorry.
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Wednesday September 2, 2015 - 13:35
@photogarlandtwitter.com welcome to the twittersphere!
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Wednesday September 2, 2015 - 14:33
In reply to: @photogarlandtwitter.com @photogarlandtwitter.com following is fine, just don’t get retweeted by them!
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Thursday September 3, 2015 - 12:55
RT @studiozerocotwitter.com : Our very own @ShaunDunnetwitter.com reveals what he’s been working on…
https://twitter.com/shaundunne/status/639361158332448768twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Thursday September 3, 2015 - 13:05
I really want to support my local paper, but the @Ely_Newstwitter.com website is virtually unusable because of the ads… and forget the mobile site.
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Tuesday September 8, 2015 - 18:25
Dear @TNLUKtwitter.com I’m ON my device. This requires an elaborate system of mirrors to scan a QR code. Why not just a link?
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Tuesday September 8, 2015 - 21:31
@DoIlumtwitter.com surely phones have so many purposes that the needs they signify are varied. From utilitarian to psychological.
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Tuesday September 8, 2015 - 22:35
@DoIlumtwitter.com aaaahh, got ya. Reminds me of Maslow’s hierarchy of need, updated for 2014…
https://twitter.com/beresniovas/status/506457938056458240twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Tuesday September 8, 2015 - 22:54
Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!
https://twitter.com/Raspberry_Pi/status/641363447276376067twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Wednesday September 9, 2015 - 07:23
RT @mediahaystacktwitter.com : The Guardian gave “Legend” only two stars (out of five), but the movie’s poster cleverly hides that fact.
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Wednesday September 9, 2015 - 07:25
Good
https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/641466874476163073twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Wednesday September 9, 2015 - 08:07
RT @NeilMillikentwitter.com : Think before you link! Your “helpful” click here links look like this to a screen reader user. ALT = JAWS links list http…
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Wednesday September 9, 2015 - 08:10
Really interested in this, but have questions. Like, as a content owner, how do I ‘remove’ stuff I don’t want seen?
https://twitter.com/codinghorror/status/641449141067845632twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Wednesday September 9, 2015 - 08:13
In reply to: @dcurtistwitter.com @dcurtistwitter.com @saccatwitter.com but not on my mobile data plan, please. That would be less awesome.
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Wednesday September 9, 2015 - 08:32
RT @markdalgleishtwitter.com : Anyone who said Node.js would never hit v1.0 is now correct on a technicality.
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Wednesday September 9, 2015 - 22:58
In reply to: @Dootsontwitter.com @Dootsontwitter.com thanks for the advice. Putting into action as we speak. Well worth the falafel…
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Wednesday September 9, 2015 - 23:35
In reply to: @stewarttwitter.com @stewarttwitter.com @saccatwitter.com interesting that age and disability are not talked about. Not measured or part of a different discussion?
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Friday September 11, 2015 - 17:21
A turtle 🐢 longing for his friends in the pond.
https://vine.co/v/eFKJeOnhFttvine.co ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Friday September 11, 2015 - 22:06
RT @avinashtwitter.com : “Don’t try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.” - Brene Brown #word
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Friday September 11, 2015 - 22:21
RT @pipetentwitter.com : A front end developer walks into a bar but left because they didn’t like the table layout. #oneliners #jokes #funny #joke
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Friday September 11, 2015 - 22:38
In reply to: @TechNation_DBAtwitter.com @TCUK_DBAtwitter.com Hull school of art and Hull time based arts kicked that off in the 90’s! ROoT festival and more.
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Saturday September 12, 2015 - 15:26
RT @GeorgeMonbiottwitter.com : It’s shocking to see Labour frontbenchers refusing to serve under #JeremyCorbyn. Fleeing in horror as soon as #Labour va…
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Saturday September 12, 2015 - 21:06
@GeorgeMonbiottwitter.com - If I was Tony Blair, I think I might be feeling a little uncomfortable tonight… Did someone say war crimes?
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Saturday September 12, 2015 - 21:31
In reply to: @BigB0bbyTtwitter.com @BigB0bbyTtwitter.com they’re pickled in beetroot if I remember rightly. V. Nice with falafel and hummus
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Saturday September 12, 2015 - 22:02
In reply to: @wildoniontwitter.com @wildoniontwitter.com @LondonPotterstwitter.com @ceramicreviewtwitter.com hard to tell, Leach? No Grayson Perry?
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Sunday September 13, 2015 - 08:32
RT @mrmarksteeltwitter.com : Can I be the one to tell Tony Blair he’s no longer allowed to be a member, as he doesn’t share the aims and values of the …
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Sunday September 13, 2015 - 21:42
RT @thenewcraftsmentwitter.com : ‘The best of British craftsman at @Decorex_Intltwitter.com ’ according to the #FT’s @htsitwitter.com - we totally agree!
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Sunday September 13, 2015 - 22:16
Leaving our @Airbnbtwitter.com tomorrow a.m. Have to eat all remaining food. Anyone have a breakfast recipe for ham, olives and three mint magnums?
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Monday September 14, 2015 - 09:54
@ShaunDunnetwitter.com she’s just getting her steps in. I like when she puts a foot on the floor light for no apparent reason.
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Monday September 14, 2015 - 23:23
@DoIlumtwitter.com you’ve betrayed your roots. Grind some coal dust into your gruel as penance.
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Wednesday September 16, 2015 - 14:08
In reply to: @Cyberjam1978twitter.com @Cyberjam1978twitter.com 👋 Hey!
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Thursday September 17, 2015 - 19:06
And on a BlackBerry… The shame…
https://twitter.com/WillGav/status/644027993103306752twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Thursday September 17, 2015 - 23:18
Seems suspiciously simple… Installing node 4 on a raspberry pi.
http://blog.wia.io/installing-node-js-v4-0-0-on-a-raspberry-pi/?utm_source=nodeweekly&utm_medium=emailblog.wia.io ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Thursday September 17, 2015 - 23:29
RT @codinghorrortwitter.com : Intrigue, betrayal, self-deception.. and a Commodore 64 with cassette tape drive. This story has it all
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Friday September 18, 2015 - 17:15
In reply to: @remtwitter.com @snookcatwitter.com I wear my jsbin 👕 tee with pride. Constantly glad that you keep this up @remtwitter.com
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Friday September 18, 2015 - 17:19
RT @AOwenLDNtwitter.com : Love this TV design!
http://www.dezeen.com/2015/09/17/exclusive-movie-bouroullec-brothers-design-new-tv-samsung-furniture/www.dezeen.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Friday September 18, 2015 - 17:42
In reply to: @zacharyparadistwitter.com @zacharyparadistwitter.com @TheEconomisttwitter.com I reckon the poverty line follows that tends pretty closely.
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Saturday September 19, 2015 - 18:20
@bdhendrich @ElyCycletwitter.com @EastCambstwitter.com or get the double decker ones like at the station.
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Saturday September 19, 2015 - 20:14
@rugbyworldcuptwitter.com Where is the #FRAvITA match being televised? I thought @ITVtwitter.com had it? #RWC2015
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Saturday September 19, 2015 - 23:27
@DoIlumtwitter.com yeah, and they commissioned it for a full season.
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Sunday September 20, 2015 - 19:00
RT @sunny_hundaltwitter.com : Astonishing that Sunday Times didn’t think such comments by a general about an elected politician weren’t alarming http:/…
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Sunday September 20, 2015 - 19:04
RT @Independenttwitter.com : George Osborne ’to scrap free school meals for infants’ - despite pledge in 2015 Conservative manifesto
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Sunday September 20, 2015 - 23:03
RT @MonkeyInkCtwitter.com : Surf school Vieux Boucau in France. A fantastic place to surf. Pen and ink drawing produced as black and white gicl… http:/…
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Sunday September 20, 2015 - 23:17
https://twitter.com/AmazonVideoUK/status/645666679171584000twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Monday September 21, 2015 - 07:31
In reply to: @Pestontwitter.com @Pestontwitter.com don’t say that in front of Cameron…
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Monday September 21, 2015 - 07:32
RT @bbcpresstwitter.com : Tomorrow’s Sun front page wrongly portrays how licence fee funding supports the arts. Here’s our response.
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Monday September 21, 2015 - 07:43
Dammit, someone slipped a Louise Mensch RT into my timeline. Now I have to turn off my internet.
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Monday September 21, 2015 - 18:50
RT @Windows95Tipstwitter.com : Show off your personality with these custom desktop wallpapers!
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Monday September 21, 2015 - 18:50
RT @Windows95Tipstwitter.com : Installing Windows is painless!
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Monday September 21, 2015 - 18:50
RT @Windows95Tipstwitter.com : Quickly run common programs using the Start menu.
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Tuesday September 22, 2015 - 07:45
I hear a familiar radio voice behind me on this horrible @GNRailUKtwitter.com short CBG-KGX train. Sorry you’re standing @billttwitter.com
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Tuesday September 22, 2015 - 08:02
@GNRailUKtwitter.com ‘staffing issues during the night’ has to be a front-runner in lamest train delay excuse. 0722 ELY-KGX did they have a bad dream?
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Wednesday September 23, 2015 - 07:40
Not usually one for reggae, but the breakdown in this is ace. via @YouTubetwitter.com h/t @doctorowtwitter.com LOOPS!
https://youtu.be/fU7hZ3smj0gyoutu.be ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Wednesday September 23, 2015 - 07:44
RT @barneyfarmertwitter.com : Glancing out of the- SANCTION @HealeyCartoonstwitter.com
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Thursday September 24, 2015 - 19:08
@DoIlumtwitter.com and for desperate recruiters to send you inappropriate job descriptions.
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Thursday September 24, 2015 - 19:17
@DoIlumtwitter.com love your typo. Was wondering what a shopping container was :)
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Thursday September 24, 2015 - 20:00
Lookout @rowanlambtwitter.com it’s Shia LeBeouf!
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Thursday September 24, 2015 - 20:52
@DoIlumtwitter.com you do get a different set of connections, and it throws up some interesting people.
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Thursday September 24, 2015 - 23:47
RT @markbessoudotwitter.com : @GeorgeMonbiottwitter.com Ecomodernists are also marred by consequential (and unsupported) assumptions about mass urbanization. http…
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Saturday September 26, 2015 - 13:43
You want to what?
https://vine.co/v/ex6OMZw6OMZvine.co ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Monday September 28, 2015 - 18:54
In reply to: @LukeWtwitter.com @LukeWtwitter.com @hopefulcyborg problematic statement. Because they want to or because they have to?Time, resources, mobility all factors.
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Tuesday September 29, 2015 - 08:27
RT @jcreamer898twitter.com : jQuery 3.0 Alpha released!
http://blog.jquery.com/2015/07/13/jquery-3-0-and-jquery-compat-3-0-alpha-versions-released/blog.jquery.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Tuesday September 29, 2015 - 17:56
Really interesting talk about technology and post-capitalism. Not sure it’s all true, but it’s interesting.
http://pca.st/PI6fpca.st ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Tuesday September 29, 2015 - 22:19
RT @stopsatgreentwitter.com : This is why the web is so important. We must never give anyone control over publishing.
https://twitter.com/BoingBoing/status/648920852763963392twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
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RT @Mr_Mike_Clarketwitter.com : That awkward moment when the pattern on your clothes makes it look like a tiny man is riding you like a horse.
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RT @FTtwitter.com : Comment: Sepp Blatter is a genius because he realised westerners don’t matter any more
http://on.ft.com/1FNmh8Ion.ft.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Yep. If developers acted like this, we’d only ever build to-do list demos.
https://twitter.com/zacharyparadis/status/605219557880373249twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Okay #lazyweb @html5doctortwitter.com why is there not an <error> tag in HTML? You know, for marking up errors. What’s the best way to markup an error?
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Actual Lol.
https://twitter.com/GeorgeMonbiot/status/605614010357170176twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Not normal of Frankie Boyle, but…
https://twitter.com/GeorgeMonbiot/status/605613634438500352twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
RT @doctorowtwitter.com : Steve Albini declares copyright dead
http://boingboing.net/2015/06/01/steve-albini-declares-copyrigh.htmlboingboing.net ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
RT @Tatetwitter.com : What has your Father taught you? Why not say thank you with Tate membership this #FathersDay
http://ow.ly/NJ8Utow.ly ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
In reply to: @am_sonitwitter.com @am_sonitwitter.com you feeling okay? You know that cheese all comes in one giant lump, right?
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Aaaaah, mostly empty flight with @flybetwitter.com LCY-EDI, very nice. Now to take the serene tram into Edinburgh.
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Wednesday June 3, 2015 - 22:02
Awesome journey home. Not. No trains or buses from Stansted, so had to get a cab to Cambridge. Joy.
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In reply to: @Limerick1914twitter.com @Limerick1914twitter.com @DoIlumtwitter.com err, so all slaves were under 7 (on average)?
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In reply to: @QhaBhutitwitter.com @QhaBhutitwitter.com thanks for sarcasm. Life span refers to how long someone lives, regardless of where they were born. Just trying to clarify quote.
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In reply to: @Limerick1914twitter.com @Limerick1914twitter.com @DoIlumtwitter.com gotcha. Thanks.
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In reply to: @QhaBhutitwitter.com @QhaBhutitwitter.com survival rate? Yeah, can see your point. Did look a bit smart-arsey. Apologies.
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I hate getting old. I find myself doing the same absent-minded shit that annoyed me about adults when I was a teenager. Today? Keys. Sigh
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Read Mr Nosey to my daughter last night. It’s a lesson on dealing with government snooping online. Give the NSA a sore nose! @doctorowtwitter.com
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RT @billttwitter.com : delightful evening @theflyingpigpubtwitter.com w music from Nick Barraclough. And a pint of Nelson’s.
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@atom_banktwitter.com cool, so we should expect Google wallet support too?
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Woah - the online banking for business at @HSBCUKBusiness is amongst the worse I’ve seen. You guys should call me!
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@jonnyvoid - don’t forget to link to the source, whilst still live @DoIlumtwitter.com @Mirror_Editortwitter.com -
https://www.facebook.com/alley.einsteinmedia/posts/230145757127903?pnref=storywww.facebook.com https://twitter.com/johnnyvoid/status/610460301222375424twitter.com ❤️ 1 | 🔃 0
Hackney fire: Looks like some troublesome tenants were standing in the way of development again. </cynicism>
http://ind.pn/1GI7qQwind.pn ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
@DoIlumtwitter.com @BigB0bbyTtwitter.com didn’t we submit one from the Ridge?
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RT @stubbornellatwitter.com : Webstorm will run gulp tasks. Whoa!
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@twittertwitter.com android app now has inbuilt browser. Finally able to open links, w/out the tiresome need to use the browser supplied on my OS. Sigh
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I’ve been saying this for a while. Why aren’t people using them more?
https://twitter.com/stubbornella/status/610561799776243715twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
RT @codinghorrortwitter.com : FACT: the average person is in direct contact with at least five ghost butts at any given time htt…
http://brinnyart.tumblr.com/post/32406485465/heres-my-full-comic-for-buttzine-not-sure-why-ibrinnyart.tumblr.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
RT @elijahmanortwitter.com : The Art of Command Line: Master the command line, in one page + @ojoshetwitter.com
https://github.com/jlevy/the-art-of-command-linegithub.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
In reply to: @Land_Libertytwitter.com @arrest_bankerstwitter.com @DuncanStotttwitter.com @DoIlumtwitter.com - how do figures in other age groups vary? Is 25-34 significant? Where are figures from? Much apprec’d
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RT @LukeWtwitter.com : Yes, you can do this for “Web apps”.
Google Photos is mobile-first responsive design & highly performant.
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In reply to: @DuncanStotttwitter.com @DuncanStotttwitter.com @arrest_bankerstwitter.com @DoIlumtwitter.com - grand, thanks!
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In reply to: @DuncanStotttwitter.com @DuncanStotttwitter.com @arrest_bankerstwitter.com @DoIlumtwitter.com - would proportion of landlords to renters affect likelihood of intolerance? Those figures missing.
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@DoIlumtwitter.com @DuncanStotttwitter.com @arrest_bankerstwitter.com not necessarily, if number of landlords goes up equally.
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@DoIlumtwitter.com @DuncanStotttwitter.com @arrest_bankerstwitter.com would be interested to know how this compares to places with more of a renting culture, like Paris.
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In reply to: @Land_Libertytwitter.com @arrest_bankerstwitter.com @DoIlumtwitter.com @DuncanStotttwitter.com you mean like rent controls, that sort of thing?
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@DoIlumtwitter.com @DuncanStotttwitter.com @arrest_bankerstwitter.com just mean it’s not just a straightforward correlation between number of renters to number of landlords
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In reply to: @Land_Libertytwitter.com @arrest_bankerstwitter.com @DoIlumtwitter.com @DuncanStotttwitter.com gotcha
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Wednesday June 17, 2015 - 13:17
@atom_banktwitter.com only if my bank didn’t store a copy of my DNA, but a hash of the code that my DNA generated…
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Thursday June 18, 2015 - 14:54
Wow, it’s my 6th twitterversary. Happy tweet day to me!
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RT @doctorowtwitter.com : London police’s secret “domestic extremist” list includes people who sketch protests #1yrago
http://boingboing.net/2014/06/17/london-polices-secret-dome.htmlboingboing.net ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
@DoIlumtwitter.com assume you don’t mean the Cornish pottery Troika? :)
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Censorship happens in ‘small’ ways as well as big, and is never good.
https://twitter.com/wildonion/status/611669724372439041twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Lovely warm day. So why on earth do @greaterangliatwitter.com have the heater on!? 0747 CBG-LST
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In reply to: @greaterangliatwitter.com @greaterangliatwitter.com 61712
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RT @tinybabytwitter.com :
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RT @neiltysontwitter.com : If you’re good at BS’ing others, then all it means is that you rarely hang around people who are smarter than you.
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https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/611639648834691073twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
@DoIlumtwitter.com turns out someone was planning a sequel. :(
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@DoIlumtwitter.com ask Shelley on Facebook. @EnglishHeritagetwitter.com have lots of good books on esoteric bits of history around buildings.
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Waaaaaaaah!
https://twitter.com/trello/status/611549683685548033twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
@DoIlumtwitter.com it’s colorized? Good grief.
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RT @CraigMcPheattwitter.com : I don’t read braille, but if this translates as the text I’d either be mighty amused or mighty pissed off.
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@mattpoveytwitter.com wow - you don’t seem to have aged! Bastard.
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@mattpoveytwitter.com Dammit, tried that, but it just seems to have made me fatter. It’s dangerous to stop now though, right?
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@mattpoveytwitter.com will increase the strength and see what happens :)
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Saturday June 20, 2015 - 10:12
RT @Brutalism101twitter.com : Champions for Robin Hood Gardens are few and far between. Glad to hear Lord Rogers is one.
https://twitter.com/BBCr4today/status/611796078644625412twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
In reply to: @remtwitter.com @remtwitter.com er, isn’t it ‘role’?
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RT @heritagetruststwitter.com : Antiques Roadshow at Bolsover Castle on the 9th July @BBC_ARoadshowtwitter.com @EnglishHeritagetwitter.com
http://bit.ly/1QM6Tljbit.ly ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
RT @emokidslovemetwitter.com : Here’s a review on a cast iron skillet. It’s the best review of a skillet I have ever seen.
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It’s a grey day @greaterangliatwitter.com , but it’s not that cold. Can you turn the heaters off? 0747 CBG-LST, car 61718. It’s roasting in here.
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RT @LukeWtwitter.com : priority 1: utility
https://twitter.com/lukew/status/605059440035831808twitter.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
In reply to: @greaterangliatwitter.com @greaterangliatwitter.com much cooler now, thanks.
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RT @jackschofieldtwitter.com : 9-Year-Old Girl Spends Her Free Time Building Shelters for the Homeless, at @OddityCentraltwitter.com ~ http…
http://bit.ly/1GERThbbit.ly ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
In reply to: @_ericelliotttwitter.com @_ericelliotttwitter.com yep, works nicely on my nexus 6
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@DoIlumtwitter.com @mattpoveytwitter.com step 1, ask politely if they have a house style guide like that you can reference.
http://www.theguardian.com/guardian-observer-style-guide-awww.theguardian.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
@DoIlumtwitter.com @mattpoveytwitter.com you mean TBH right? All acronym’s are to be capitalised. ;)
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@DoIlumtwitter.com @mattpoveytwitter.com you should buy that person one of these t-shirts
http://slightlywrongquotes.tumblr.com/slightlywrongquotes.tumblr.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
@DoIlumtwitter.com and perhaps this one for you…
http://slightlywrongquotes.tumblr.com/post/72309801832/slightly-wrong-artwork-westlifeslightlywrongquotes.tumblr.com ❤️ 0 | 🔃 0
Wednesday June 24, 2015 - 13:22
Never seen them in the same room, have you?
Shocking!
https://twitter.com/LASTEXITshirts/status/613681950965039104twitter.com ❤️ 4 | 🔃 4
Thursday June 25, 2015 - 22:34
So @greaterangliatwitter.com , how much will we need to pay to park our bikes at ELY from July? :( @ElyCycletwitter.com
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RT @PunKandStufftwitter.com : “Home taping is killing record industry profits”
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Just creeped out by three herons standing in a field staring at the train. Sure they were waiting for something. Maybe get the bus home…
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In reply to: @greaterangliatwitter.com @greaterangliatwitter.com thanks ^KM :)
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RT @pipetentwitter.com : What goes “Pieces of seven. Pieces of seven.”?
A Parroty error. #oneliners #jokes #funny #joke
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