#VeryBritishOffences
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Tuesday January 2, 2018 - 01:04
New year’s resolutions
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Drink less alcohol
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Stop tweeting from the toilet when drunk
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Tear down structural and cultural forms of oppression
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Make sure I understand that I mean what I think I mean when using words like oppression
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Wait, is it my place to do point 3?
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STFU
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Tuesday January 2, 2018 - 14:14
In reply to: @ChuckWendigtwitter.com @ChuckWendigtwitter.com Star wars episode IX: a little bit of a sad child
Or…
Star wars episode IX: the window and saw
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Tuesday January 2, 2018 - 19:31
RT @CreativeReviewtwitter.com : The pursuit of perfection is often lauded in the creative industries, but as a leadership trait it can also be disempowโฆ
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Tuesday January 2, 2018 - 19:49
Nice, but all fantasy, all white, all ‘standard’ beauty. 2 princesses, and you could argue that last Jedi was an ensemble cast.
That said, it’s important to recognise that this is still a step forward in a year that saw many steps back.
https://twitter.com/guardianfilm/status/947899996187254784twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Friday January 5, 2018 - 06:45
I never knew this was here. If you’re a frequent image poster, you should do this too. Thanks @_Red_Longtwitter.com !
https://twitter.com/_Red_Long/status/948577112860086272twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Friday January 5, 2018 - 19:15
RT @Raspberry_Pitwitter.com : New post: Raspberry Pi hardware is unaffected by the Meltdown and Spectre vulnerabilities. @EbenUptontwitter.com provides a crash coโฆ
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Friday January 5, 2018 - 21:16
Best tweet of the day. Thanks @charliejane
https://twitter.com/charliejane/status/949336938321858561twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Saturday January 6, 2018 - 09:35
RT @daveytwitter.com : Developer colleague: โOh, Iโm not a designer. I leave that to you!โ
Me: โAwwwโฆ Donโt say that. Everyone has an eye for design. Dโฆ
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Saturday January 6, 2018 - 09:41
In reply to: @beeptwitter.com @beeptwitter.com I’m pretty sure that’s a Shetland retriever.
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Saturday January 6, 2018 - 10:04
Finally have had to ditch my old Mondo card, but have upgraded to @monzotwitter.com yay!
I’ll be keeping the old one for posterity ๐ณ
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Sunday January 7, 2018 - 00:10
RT @AkiyoshiKitaokatwitter.com : ใๆกใ
“Peach”
Concentric circles appear to be entangled.
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Sunday January 7, 2018 - 00:17
In reply to: @4m3thy5ttwitter.com @4m3thy5ttwitter.com Leave Facebook?
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Monday January 8, 2018 - 07:55
RT @goldengateblondtwitter.com : Hereโs @Oprahtwitter.com โs entire speech. Watch it. If youโve already seen it, watch it again. #MeToo #TimesUp
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Monday January 8, 2018 - 08:25
RT @mrnickharveytwitter.com : I love Twitter.
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Monday January 8, 2018 - 08:30
RT @Rachael_Swindontwitter.com : One thing you can guarantee is this interview never being aired again. You might want to watch this @theresa_maytwitter.com #Blamโฆ
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Tuesday January 9, 2018 - 07:52
In reply to: @apathytastictwitter.com @apathytastictwitter.com An actor? As president of the United States. It’ll never happen mate. ;)
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Tuesday January 9, 2018 - 07:58
In reply to: @barneyfarmertwitter.com @barneyfarmertwitter.com I think you’ll find. Ahem. That you’re the bigot. I have proven my case with the age old ‘yer mam’ proof. Good day sir.
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Tuesday January 9, 2018 - 19:38
In reply to: @richard_littlertwitter.com @richard_littlertwitter.com I said other, for I think Bergerac or the littlest Hobo would be the quickest.
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Tuesday January 9, 2018 - 19:56
In reply to: @Colin_TBTAMCtwitter.com @Colin_TBTAMCtwitter.com @barneyfarmertwitter.com Apparently some of them didn’t go to Eton. What more do you want?
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Wednesday January 10, 2018 - 07:40
I strongly suspect we’ll be soon be seeing pressure for them to run for 2020.
https://twitter.com/juliagalef/status/950779638476824577twitter.com โค๏ธ 1 | ๐ 0
Wednesday January 10, 2018 - 17:54
In reply to: @richard_littlertwitter.com @richard_littlertwitter.com Punchline arrives in 2019, right?
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Thursday January 11, 2018 - 07:49
Today on @GNRailUKtwitter.com “I’m sorry to report that you’ll need to get off the train and move to the train in front, which will continue as normal, except that it’s just the front 8 carriages. But it’s your normal service”
Not sure they understood what ’normal’ means.
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Thursday January 11, 2018 - 08:03
RT @donttrythistwitter.com : Read. This. Thread.
https://twitter.com/hoarsewisperer/status/950897678640132096twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Thursday January 11, 2018 - 22:36
OMG. This thread. Almost worth staying on Twitter for.
https://twitter.com/owillis/status/950836669703483399twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Thursday January 11, 2018 - 23:05
In reply to: @zacharyparadistwitter.com @zacharyparadistwitter.com Also, just open up a MacBook air. It’s an iPhone with a big battery and a better keyboard.
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Friday January 12, 2018 - 23:41
In reply to: @4m3thy5ttwitter.com @4m3thy5ttwitter.com Check out this version on YouTube, and turn the closed captioning on
https://youtu.be/P4sFZzCFzM8youtu.be โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Sunday January 14, 2018 - 11:10
RT @PadraigBeltontwitter.com : If tea spread to your country by sea, you call it โteaโ. If by land, you call it chai.
(*This is because the ports of Fuโฆ
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Sunday January 14, 2018 - 11:53
RT @SpottedInElytwitter.com : Youthโs Campaign for new Ely Skatepark!
http://www.spottedinely.com/youths-campaign-new-ely-skatepark/www.spottedinely.com https://fb.me/EQ927maLfb.me โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Sunday January 14, 2018 - 11:54
Looks like something @richard_littlertwitter.com might appreciate…
https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/952280365930045440twitter.com โค๏ธ 1 | ๐ 0
Monday January 15, 2018 - 09:00
In reply to: @ThatEricAlpertwitter.com @ThatEricAlpertwitter.com Wool and call centres. More recently, the Kaiser Chiefs.
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Monday January 15, 2018 - 22:37
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com I can confirm, boss like attributes were manifest throughout the day.
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Tuesday January 16, 2018 - 22:25
Now we have it, I’m sort of puzzled how we’ve been without it so long…
https://twitter.com/codepo8/status/953387172035473411twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Wednesday January 17, 2018 - 10:37
I can’t imagine why, but it strikes me that this would appeal to @barneyfarmertwitter.com
…
Oh wait, I can imagine why… quite easily in fact.
https://twitter.com/heydonworks/status/953571014897696770twitter.com โค๏ธ 1 | ๐ 0
Wednesday January 17, 2018 - 10:45
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com “Hi Sophster, I’m Brad (BradBro). It looks like you haven’t tried our widget-as-a-service. What’s up? Can we help?”
… 3 months, 900 emails later.
“Whhhhhhhy Sophie? Please. I’m not too proud to beg. I’ll be outside your house with fresh widgets tonight. Help me. Brad.”
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Wednesday January 17, 2018 - 11:14
In reply to: @heydonworkstwitter.com @heydonworkstwitter.com @barneyfarmertwitter.com Of course - the staring competition! Keep going, do more. I love it!
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Thursday January 18, 2018 - 06:34
Sad news. Woke this morning to find Trampy, our pet trampoline has flown the nest. I hope she comes back soon. Last seen somewhere in the skies over Cambridgeshire.
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Thursday January 18, 2018 - 06:49
RT @joshtpmtwitter.com : This is like divining prophecy from flayed bird organs. Or like some cargo cult bullshit.
https://twitter.com/joshrogin/status/953722157003165696twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Thursday January 18, 2018 - 07:40
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com She was only 4, but about 1.5m diameter, with a 2m net around the outside. I hadn’t realised her wins had grown in.
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Thursday January 18, 2018 - 07:48
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com Exciting update! She’s been found, hiding in a tree in a neighbours garden. We’re just trying to tempt her down with treats. She’s obviously shaken but no apparent injuries.
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Thursday January 18, 2018 - 07:53
Okay. I want this.
https://twitter.com/brokenrules/status/951205651090468865twitter.com โค๏ธ 1 | ๐ 0
Thursday January 18, 2018 - 07:59
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com She’s already bouncing back.
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Thursday January 18, 2018 - 22:42
Indian colonialism?
Slavery?
Walking up to the adjacent urinal despite there being others free that aren’t next to me.
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Friday January 19, 2018 - 21:14
In reply to: @rorysutherlandtwitter.com @rorysutherlandtwitter.com The Shepherdess on city road. Already exists.
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Friday January 19, 2018 - 22:42
Thanks to @type__errortwitter.com , I’m now watching S1e1 of Crazy ex girlfriend. Suspect it’s going to be a binge night…
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Saturday January 20, 2018 - 19:29
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com We watched 3 episodes last night. Suspect Thora will have an early night tonight…
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Saturday January 20, 2018 - 19:58
@jutertwitter.com @Stravatwitter.com Oh Hell yeah. I get the same thing every time I get the train from Ely station and have to look at this…
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Saturday January 20, 2018 - 19:59
@jutertwitter.com @Stravatwitter.com Not to mention the word spacing on the no parking… ;)
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Monday January 22, 2018 - 07:24
In reply to: @rmurpheytwitter.com @rmurpheytwitter.com In Silicon Valley, fin tech bros don’t need joint accounts…
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Monday January 22, 2018 - 07:45
@ElyMarketstwitter.com @ElyCycletwitter.com
https://twitter.com/DianeCoyle1859/status/954976622591045632twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Monday January 22, 2018 - 07:57
In reply to: @silentworkstwitter.com @silentworkstwitter.com And for a fun example, check out the AlgoRythmics channel on YouTube…
https://youtu.be/ywWBy6J5gz8youtu.be โค๏ธ 1 | ๐ 0
Monday January 22, 2018 - 19:23
In reply to: @monzotwitter.com @monzotwitter.com Wow. No joint accounts then? ๐ฎ๐
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Monday January 22, 2018 - 22:43
In reply to: @monzotwitter.com @monzotwitter.com Oh. That’s pretty disappointing. It’s a deal breaker for me I’m afraid. But good luck!
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Monday January 22, 2018 - 22:45
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com Yeah, it feels a lot like yet another service designed by young urban singletons. I’m genuinely a bit horrified it’s not even on the roadmap.
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Monday January 22, 2018 - 23:01
RT @ReactFesttwitter.com : Ta da da, here comes the second #ReactFest speakers outline with @dan_abramovtwitter.com , @type__errortwitter.com & @tlakomytwitter.com ๐๐๐
We still have soโฆ
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Monday January 22, 2018 - 23:07
RT @imcconchietwitter.com : New clients, and new projects means we’re recruiting #designers over @TheAppBusinesstwitter.com again. If you’re looking for a new rolโฆ
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Tuesday January 23, 2018 - 22:04
In reply to: @monzotwitter.com @monzotwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com Do you appreciate that joint accounts are not just ‘bill splitting’ for couples, right? That it’s a bit of financial security in that if I die, my partner will still be able to access our money, without having wait for wills to be settled? Sigh. Back to the old banks then.
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Tuesday January 23, 2018 - 22:12
@richard_littlertwitter.com @4m3thy5ttwitter.com
https://twitter.com/visuals0und/status/955518850585583616twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Tuesday January 23, 2018 - 22:45
@4m3thy5ttwitter.com more!
https://twitter.com/mrgan/status/953699154936528897twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Wednesday January 24, 2018 - 07:28
RT @codinghorrortwitter.com : โEven at your own sonโs funeral it was unacceptable to mournโ
https://medium.com/the-nib/what-do-we-mean-when-we-say-toxic-masculinity-8937252ead50medium.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Wednesday January 24, 2018 - 07:52
RT @LettersOfNotetwitter.com : RIP Ursula Le Guin.
Here she is in 1987, turning down an offer to blurb an all-male sci-fi anthology.
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Wednesday January 24, 2018 - 20:16
In reply to: @curtisogdentwitter.com @curtisogdentwitter.com @IISCBlogtwitter.com I love this. It’s like oblique strategies, but for interactions and purpose. Going to start using it straight away.
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Wednesday January 24, 2018 - 22:10
Damn. Mark E Smith. Part of the soundtrack of my youth. To be heralded into eternity by John Peel I hope.
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Friday January 26, 2018 - 07:53
Thread. ๐
https://twitter.com/jamiesusskind/status/956458545771352065twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Friday January 26, 2018 - 08:33
OK - I cannot stop thinking about this, and am reluctant to search to find out if it’s real…
https://twitter.com/rmi/status/956801224812085248twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Saturday January 27, 2018 - 15:12
RT @Roxyorztwitter.com : Years back I lost my job as a software engineer and thought my career was over. While I was on the rebound I got to sit down wโฆ
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Sunday January 28, 2018 - 00:00
@jutertwitter.com @LibStructLDNtwitter.com I’m up for that.
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Sunday January 28, 2018 - 00:02
Wait what? That’s… Impressive…
https://twitter.com/mrdoob/status/957239191045320704twitter.com โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Sunday January 28, 2018 - 11:18
RT @LauraPidcockMPtwitter.com : We donโt just want the NHS, โfree at the point of useโ, @theresa_maytwitter.com , we want it to be universal, comprehensive and runโฆ
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Sunday January 28, 2018 - 11:26
RT @NHSMilliontwitter.com : Noam Chomsky, a world-renowned political analyst, explains the standard technique of privatisation:
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Defund
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Make sureโฆ
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Monday January 29, 2018 - 12:33
RT @katekappuktwitter.com : Join our team at Tesco -if you’re a delivery manager interested in delivering services that impactโฆ
http://bit.ly/2DGsoQhfbit.ly โค๏ธ 0 | ๐ 0
Monday January 29, 2018 - 18:51
In reply to: @4m3thy5ttwitter.com @4m3thy5ttwitter.com Probably because it’s a low hanging fruit in terms of policy, without too much recourse from UK nationals. Starting to talk about re-appropriating property from UK folk would just be shot down in the media.
1 step at a time, comrade ;)
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Monday January 29, 2018 - 18:52
RT @jeremycorbyntwitter.com : The @Conservativestwitter.com need to get out of the pockets of the property speculators and rogue landlords, and on the side of tenโฆ
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Monday January 29, 2018 - 18:53
RT @knownformstwitter.com : Reminder: Janelle Monae wrote and recorded an entire science fiction opera about androids defeating fascism. That’s all.
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Tuesday January 30, 2018 - 18:49
Is your child texting about PRIMATES?
OMG - orangutans, macaques, gibbons
TTYL - Tarsiers trashed your lawn
ROFL - rooting out fake lemurs
LOL - Lemurs or Lorises?
FML - find my Langur!
BRB - Bonobos require boners
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Tuesday January 30, 2018 - 19:23
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com Mornington Crescent!
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Wednesday January 31, 2018 - 07:18
Hey @twittertwitter.com if I want my followers to see something I like, I’ll RT. If I โค something, that’s for me. It’s a signal to one person that I like something, OR a bookmark.
Likewise, I don’t want to see other’s likes in my feed.
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Wednesday January 31, 2018 - 07:26
In reply to: @toychickentwitter.com To give an example. There’s someone that I follow, that tweets about coding and frequently RTs other great coders. She likes overwatch cosplay. A lot. But doesn’t RT it. Suddenly I’m seeing a lot more cosplay in my feed.
My voice echoes into the void…
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Wednesday January 31, 2018 - 18:05
RT @NHSMilliontwitter.com : This is the NHS record under Jeremy Hunt
Please RT if you think everyone should be aware
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Wednesday January 31, 2018 - 18:54
Her name is Noelle,
and I have a dream about her…
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Wednesday January 31, 2018 - 19:10
In reply to: @toychickentwitter.com She rings my bell,
I have gym class in half an hour…
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Wednesday January 31, 2018 - 20:04
In reply to: @SpottedInElytwitter.com @SpottedInElytwitter.com Could try Lydia at they’re awesome!
https://www.animatepetservices.co.uk/www.animatepetservices.co.uk โค๏ธ 1 | ๐ 0
Wednesday January 31, 2018 - 22:36
In reply to: @type__errortwitter.com @type__errortwitter.com Ok, so that is a pretty awesome version. Love the syncopated dick and kick in that second verse :)
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