April, 2018

30th April, 2018

Monday April 2, 2018 - 00:55

@whitneyarnertwitter.com @katelethtwitter.com The guy stood in the corner at the party. The kind of guy that always stood in corners at parties. Wishing he could say something to a girl. Guys like that don’t know how to talk to girls. Somehow, he wound up married to an amazing, smart, sexy woman. Lucky stiff. Pure fluke.

Wednesday April 4, 2018 - 09:26

@rauschmatwitter.com Trello, node, jQuery (for the props) and the fact it’s not VBscript.

Friday April 6, 2018 - 18:16

@4m3thy5ttwitter.com Pilasters will break your heart.

Sunday April 8, 2018 - 11:07

@justinmadderstwitter.com @OwenJones84twitter.com Really failing to see how creating a party with money from rich backers is ‘breaking the mould’, especially not a liberal centrist party that ‘borrows ideas from right and left’. That’s all we’ve had for the past thirty years!

Sunday April 8, 2018 - 11:11

RT @johnmcdonnellMPtwitter.com : That’s a novel idea. A party of the rich, by the rIch, for the rich. A party for the few not the many.

Monday April 9, 2018 - 22:37

Today I made a Phil Collins album pun at work.

I am sorry to anyone I may have offended or hurt by my actions. I have no excuse it was just a moment of weakness.

I am temporarily suspended from the pun council, until I can prove that I can control my behavior.

Monday April 9, 2018 - 22:43

I have been transfixed by this GIF for some time now…

Tuesday April 10, 2018 - 19:06

@leifthundertwitter.com Where is the laughing-and-crying response?

Tuesday April 10, 2018 - 22:01

RT @thestuffofmemestwitter.com : oh my god

Wednesday April 11, 2018 - 07:50

@type__errortwitter.com My golden rule is never buy anything that begins with Ass.

Wednesday April 11, 2018 - 07:55

Feeling this today, as I spent an hour going over an imaginary conversation with a woman I saw on tv 10 years ago that believed whistling for dogs demeaned dogs.

Like. Shut up brain!

Wednesday April 11, 2018 - 08:22

I’m behind the sentiment, but find myself asking, “wait, did all the other industries get woke? Oil? Arms? Retail? Manufacturing?”

Possibly what should be asked is “Will capitalism ever takes ethics seriously?”

Wednesday April 11, 2018 - 22:31

@BigB0bbyTtwitter.com Not by a long shot…

Wednesday April 11, 2018 - 22:43

@robbysoavetwitter.com Or, having to explain to the old people how you got all the young people to install a far-right government in the Whitehouse. How you are DEFINITELY NOT planning to run for president yourself.

Plus if MZ can’t explain it, how is anyone, tech-savvy or otherwise, supposed to?

Friday April 13, 2018 - 19:14

Here’s hoping the destroyer of culture and health goes to prison.

Saturday April 14, 2018 - 14:06

@jutertwitter.com Will you be awarding these to members of staff? Possibly with a certificate?

Saturday April 14, 2018 - 14:17

Can’t imagine why Trump and May would want to start a war with Russia just at the moment. It’s not like they’ve got problems at home they want to distract the public from thinking about.

Oh wait…

Sunday April 15, 2018 - 09:27

Strikes me that the same people that were in total denial that Trump could be elected are now under a similar illusion that he and his administration will be taken down by law.

Elites are never punished.

Worst that ever happens is that their book sales or tv shows don’t do well.

Sunday April 15, 2018 - 09:57

Perfect. Happy Sunday

Sunday April 15, 2018 - 22:39

@jthornetttwitter.com One of the better Robert Ludlum titles…

Monday April 16, 2018 - 11:47

RT @MichaelRosenYestwitter.com :

Monday April 16, 2018 - 13:58

RT @swardleytwitter.com : @timoreillytwitter.com Good luck with solving that problem in the US. There seems to be a really bizarre disconnect between US mindset a…

Tuesday April 17, 2018 - 07:38

Wait… This could change everything.

Wednesday April 18, 2018 - 22:31

@4m3thy5ttwitter.com Wee bit early I think. There’s lambing going on if you can find a venue.

Thursday April 19, 2018 - 06:20

@4m3thy5ttwitter.com

Thursday April 19, 2018 - 07:35

@GNRailUKtwitter.com any chance you could tell the driver to turn the heating off? It’s roasting in here, and the sun’s pouring in on a full carriage.

0715 ELY-KGX 😅

Thursday April 19, 2018 - 07:37

RT @b0rktwitter.com : floating point

Sunday April 22, 2018 - 21:56

@4m3thy5ttwitter.com Don’t try to do too much, you’ll both fall foul of fatigue. It’s fine just to spend an afternoon messing with bubbles in a washing up bowl, and of course you can dump her in front of a Duggee Marathon.

Wednesday April 25, 2018 - 07:18

@4m3thy5ttwitter.com That psychoactive drugs are absorbed into the bloodstream, whereas you shit out waste food products?

Wednesday April 25, 2018 - 08:40

RT @lady_ada_kingtwitter.com : Off by one error

Wednesday April 25, 2018 - 08:42

Tricking a rock into thinking

Thursday April 26, 2018 - 00:22

@type__errortwitter.com People die of exposure.

Friday April 27, 2018 - 16:47

#WaitroseCookWell - This week, I shall mostly been eating

Saturday April 28, 2018 - 15:38

RT @PeoplesMomentumtwitter.com : Their answers are astonishing

Sunday April 29, 2018 - 14:36

@4m3thy5ttwitter.com

Monday April 30, 2018 - 18:09

@dancharveytwitter.com “final_final_v2_dan_copy(2)” ?