LRG

"Thanks to @type__error, I'm now watching S1e1 of Crazy ex girlfriend. Suspect it's going to be a binge night..."

"#VeryBritishOffences Indian colonialism? Slavery? Walking up to the adjacent urinal despite there being others free that aren't next to me."

"Okay. I want this. "

"Sad news. Woke this morning to find Trampy, our pet trampoline has flown the nest. I hope she comes back soon. Last seen somewhere in the skies over Cambridgeshire."

"I can't imagine why, but it strikes me that this would appeal to @barneyfarmer ... Oh wait, I can imagine why... quite easily in fact. "

"Now we have it, I'm sort of puzzled how we've been without it so long... "

"Looks like something @richard_littler might appreciate... "

"OMG. This thread. Almost worth staying on Twitter for. "

"Today on @GNRailUK "I'm sorry to report that you'll need to get off the train and move to the train in front, which will continue as normal, except that it's just the front 8 carriages. But it's your normal service" Not sure they understood what 'normal' means."

"I strongly suspect we'll be soon be seeing pressure for them to run for 2020. "

"Finally have had to ditch my old Mondo card, but have upgraded to @monzo yay! I'll be keeping the old one for posterity 💳 "

"Best tweet of the day. Thanks @charliejane "

"I never knew this was here. If you're a frequent image poster, you should do this too. Thanks @_Red_Long ! "

"Nice, but all fantasy, all white, all 'standard' beauty. 2 princesses, and you could argue that last Jedi was an ensemble cast. That said, it's important to recognise that this is still a step forward in a year that saw many steps back. "

"New year's resolutions * Drink less alcohol * Stop tweeting from the toilet when drunk * Tear down structural and cultural forms of oppression * Make sure I understand that I mean what I think I mean when using words like oppression * Wait, is it my place to do point 3? * STFU"

"This thread. It has explained a lot about the US for me. "

"Driving over to family today... 4yo: Mummy, I've drawn a picture on the window. Mum: For the hundredth time. Don't draw on the window! 4yo: ... Mum: Okay, what did you draw? 4yo: A broken heart with the face of a sad child."

"Good Winterval fellow humans. Today is the day I take the dog for a walk, pretend I'm one of a few survivors of an unknown apocalypse and choose which building in town I'd loot and/or fortify. #itsQuietOutThere ..."

"First of the angry Xmas tweets. I love 'am. "

"Ooooooookaaaaayyyy So which dystopian zombie / post viral apocalypse springs to your mind on reading this headline? Resident evil? The Stand? Walking dead? 💀💀💀 "

"I actually want to read this... @4m3thy5t "

"-2°c yesterday, 7°c today. What's going on? Should I wear a waistcoat or not?!"

"I hope he reads this thread and finds himself laughing until his woefully slow mobile connection finally downloads the picture of his own smug visage. @barneyfarmer Thanks @mrdavidwhitley for this treat. "

"It's the time of year that I remind myself to take it easy at the Christmas party. If I don't... "

"Dammit, history + current events + thread = something in my eye... "

"Jack Black is on #GrahamNorton looking for all the world like the love child of Dom DeLuise and Burt Reynolds... "

"Nice work Microsoft. 👏🏼 "

"Jesus H Christmas. "

"I listened to 15,944 Minutes of music - of which only _some_ was influenced by my daughter endless listening to the My Little Pony soundtrack..."

"Okay, this is the same UK government that thinks it's a good and necessary idea for them to be given the back door keys to our strong crypto. Now I see why. "